racing is life

2002-05-21T13:13:00.000-04:00

Well, the team just got back from comp. up in Detriot. I'll write down the events that I can remember sometime in the near future. Needless to say, it was a rather long trip.

2002-05-08T01:26:00.000-04:00

So tired. I've been up rather late each night trying to get Car 21 running. Our competition is in one week, rather 6 days now. Its great fun to watch people here. Some of them will sit there and complain about how long they have been up, yet they a) haven;t worked at all, and b) have been one of the first one's to go to sleep. Wow. Claims of nights 3 to 4 hours later than they actually have been (thats 3 to 4 hours from their latest, not average... ). Me? I've decided to bed actually at the shop. There are a couple of rooms here that are not used. All they have in them is a desk or two and maybe a chair. I went to K-Mart (sorry, "Big K") and bought one of those inflatable raft/bed things that costs around $3. I put my blanket over that and pillows on the head area. It works really well and is a lot softer than that stupid table. I've also got my alarm clock with me so I've got something to wake me up. It really is a great setup. I don't need to leave the shop. The few times that I do include going to the Mechanical Enginering department to take a shower. They have some nice faculty showers there which are locked to non-faculty people. But, the nice thing (that I don't think they realized) is that the shop key for the motorsports shop will also get you into quite a few rooms in the ME building, including the showers. I do need to shave though. It's been a couple of days. It was great the last time I shaved... I was in one of the bathrooms in the ME building at the sink and one of the faculty walked in. Needless to say, they gave me a rather interesting look. This random student who, while having just showerd, still looks pretty raged from being up and working so much, who is one of the only students on campus after the semester ended and who is sitting there shaving his face. This guy had to have been rather confused as to what I was doing there. Well, like I said before, I'm tired. I was woken up an hour after falling asleep last night. I fell asleep at 6am if that makes much difference. That is after being up since 10:30 the morning before. I realize that its only 1:20 now, but dang, if not sleeping doesn't wear you down a little. Our team leader was in the same boat I was in terms of sleep, and he has been passed out on the couch in our office for the last two or three hours. Ok, I'm leaving the motorsports office now. People are pissing me off by working sooooooo hard. I need to get out of here for a min. Or rest of something. Whatever, laterz ya'll.

2002-04-29T01:39:00.000-04:00

yeh, I made the front page. I feel so special now. ok, now I'm going to bed.

2002-04-29T01:36:00.000-04:00

So, this great free counter I got, yeah, works great for a couple of minutes. I guess when you have a free counter, you can't expect a lot from it. Damn thing decided to randomly reset itself. The best part is that I went to the site to see what they have to say about it. Well, their problems/support discussion board has a number of unanswered posts on it, including one about a counter random reset. Well, whatever. I'm tired, I think I'll get some sleep.

2002-04-28T20:25:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so my sister is trying to be an actress. Someone decided to give her name to some modeling and acting agency and she got called in, and then called back. Out of the 100 or so people they interviewed, she is one of the 18 that have been called in for another interview. I guess she has gotten better than when she used to try to get me in trouble for no real reason.

Finals start tomorrow, well for me they actually start on Tuesday. I've got four finals, three of which are 8am finals. Can't they figure out that I don't go to my 8am class for a reason? I don't know how this set is going to go. My first final is possibly going to be the worst. I need a good grade in that class. This is a teacher who's grade distribution for past classes she has taught have had a class gpa of 1.93. hmm... maybe the teacher is doing something wrong? You'd figure that if your class is failing, there is something wrong there and its probably not the students are dumb. But, this is Tech after all, and the teachers like to try to screw us over. I'm sure they go through some form of training on what the most effective techniques for screwing over students are.

It's not just howt they teach, its what they teach. I'd love to actually take a class where I'm applying knowledge and theory. I know more theory than theorists do. They love to teach theory, but they do not tell us or show us (or give us the theory behind) actually applying it. Yet, we are expected to be able to apply it at any given time. This is a quote from one of my great teachers ...

"I teach you how to teach yourselves"

You idiot, you didn't teach me anything. I, and every other poor fool in that class had learn on their own how to go get the info you test us on but won't tell us. When we ask you a question, we don't want the answer to be "Go ask the TA" We don't want the answer to be "It's probably on Google if you look"... chances are we've already looked there. We don't enjoy having to deal with your crap, so if we are asking a question, we've exhausted our search resources. I don't recall reading in the course description "Learn to teach yourselves".... no, what I remember was "Languages and Translations: A study of compilers and parsers".... oh and one more thing about this teacher. Here is a question from a test:

"We've talked about pass by reference and pass by value in class. There is another way to pass paramaters to a function called pass by evaluation. Describe how the compiler might interperet this way of passing in paramaters."

Now wait a second here. We haven't talked about it, it hasn't been in the reading, and the TA's have never said anything. Why the hell should we know it. I ended up writing a full page on this one. I don't know how, but I decided that if I put enough stuff on the page, something was bound to get me some points. Also known as the shotgun approach to essays. If you can't tell, I'm a little bit bitter at this teacher. His is an 8 am class. At 8 am I don't want to be up and wil have a hell of a time trying to learn anything. Why does he still persist to tell us the worst CS jokes he can think of. Everythime I go to that class I wonder what went through my head when I woke up that morning. Everytime I walk out of that class I feel as if I have just lost 1 1/2 hours of my life that were completely wasted.

Wow, much better, nice to have yelled about that. I'd love to hear if there are any of you out there with teacher who are worse, or similar. Tell me that I'm not in the absolute hell (just keep in mind that I've left out a LOT of crap about this class which make it much worse). Well, at least it'll be over soon.

2002-04-26T02:51:00.000-04:00

I love other people, they are so nice. My favorite thing about other people? When they jump to conclusions. I love it when people are more than willing to form opinions without knowing all the details. When they classify you based on WAY too little information. The better part, the absolute best part, they are never willing to admit they were wrong when you and others can prove them wrong. They make claims that are completly baseless. Tell you how you are or are not, tell other people how you are or are not, and even when other people tell them they are wrong, they just start making up other things. I love it when people have to hate you. They can't just accept the fact that you are not someone they can hate wihtout making up an artificial reason.
Ignorance is another thing I love. I don't mean that in the sense of not being able to spell or not being good at math. I mean it in terms of an unwillingness to learn from others. I love it when people are so stubborn that they can't get past the idea that someone else is teaching them. "They already know and they don't need your help!" I love that line. Especially when they screw up what they were doing. My question to these people. When you learned basic arithmetic, did you figure it out for yourselfs? Did you prove on your own, with absolutly no guidence why 3 * 9 is 27? Or, did a teacher, did a parent, did a friend help you see why that is true? My point is that you should never try to learn something on your own when someone is offerring to teach you. I've found two great quotes that might fit here... who knows.

One can organize to apply a discovery already made, but not to make one.
--Albert Einstein

If I have seen further than others, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants.
--Issac Newton

Long post short, I'm willing to give everyone a chance, and I generally do. However, those willing to classify me unjustly I have no respect for. Those who judge me without knowing everthing they should know to properly judge me I have no respect for. Those who must make up lies about me so that they can hate me easier, I have no respect for. I never have and never will orient my life such that I am trying to fight back against these people. My actions are 75% based on what will be better in general and 25% based on what will be better for me. To me, these people are not worth my time or effort to deal with. I know ignoring these people does not fix anything, in fact it probably makes it worse. These people do not just go away. No matter how badly you wish it, you are always stuck with (at least) one. You can move 3000 miles from home, but the second you start making new friends, inevitably there will be one lurking in the shadows waiting until things seem to be great. To those of you out there who already have one (or more) of these people in your life, I'm right there with you, I am sharing your feelings. For those of you who haven't found that person yet, enjoy the moment, it won't last much longer. For those of you about whom I am speaking, its time to reflect on your own actions instead of others. Before you start calling names and pointing fingers, look inward. Sometimes its not in others where the problems lie, it is not in others where you must look to solve these problems. I will say to look in a mirror. Look closely in that mirror. Tell yourself what you see. Look closer and closer yet. Now, look into your eyes. Feel the emotions your eyes are showing. Look as deeply into your own eyes as you can stand. I will tell you, all of you (regardless of who you are and what type of person you are), you will be scared at what you see. You will not recognize yourself. One last quote/idea/concept before I finish for the night.

To know thyself is the ultimate form of aggression.
(Freudian Psychology)

Good night,

2002-04-25T18:42:00.000-04:00

arg. Learning some of this stuff is getting annoying.

2002-04-24T20:41:00.000-04:00

What is it about racing that is so thirlling. Why is it that I can hurl myself at stupid speeds with very little around me, right next to a guy who I barely know who is doing the same thing. Both of us at the limits of control, fighting to see who can stand that little extra bit of fear, fighting to see who can hold their line farther into the corner. What is is about being inches away from serious injury and possible death that draws me into this sport? Why is there that high, that euphoric feeling everytime I clip the apex of a turn so perfectly, everytime I push the car into the corner a little farther before hitting the brakes. How is it that I can risk my body and push my own limits and the mechanical limits of the car so trustingly without any fear. How is it possible that I can suppress fear when I am on the outskirts of control. I can do all that, but I'm scared of rollercoasters? Is it just me, or is there something wrong here?
I've always been a little uneasy on roller coasters. I'm not sure why. I've always thought it was because I was not in control, that it was because I was not the one pushing my fears to their limits. I trust the enginering of a 10 year old car more than a 2 year old roller coaster. Why? Its not exactly that I'm scared of them. No, I'm not scared I guess. But just uneasy. I don't mind scaring my passengers once in a while when I drive. I'll apex at a higher speed than they are used to and it always throws them off a little (well, except my dad who used to race. He usually says something about my choice or the apex point).
There is no real point to this ranting, just a question. It seems to be an irrational feeling. A feeling that I should be more than comfortable with. But its not.
I think I need to go find a race track and push my fears some more. Thats always fun.

2002-04-24T17:17:00.000-04:00

TIRED!!!! I've got a very few number of minutes before a leadership meeting, so this will be quick. I NEED SLEEP! Well, it's dead week here and that means three things. One, next week we start finals. Two, I'm almost done for the semester. And three, I've got three weeks until the motorsports team treks up to Detroit for our first competition with our new car, Car 21. Arg, maybe somewhere in there I can get an hour of sleep.

2002-04-23T23:55:00.000-04:00

hehe, you'll all have to be patient as I try to figure out this blog thing. It just took me an hour to figure out how to change the background color. I'll be darned if I didn't spend forever looking at the code just to find that pressing a button on a different page was the answer. By the way, I'm a CompSci major, so the code is the first place I look.

2002-04-23T22:50:00.000-04:00

Well, this is my first post. As you can see from the title, I am a race fan. Automotive racing is pretty much my life. It is what keeps me in school. Everything in my life seems to be race oriented and everything in life seems to be some form of race or competition. I was brought up to think of things as a race; start whatever your doing with as much effort to win as possible. Stay strong during the course, and finish with that one last push of energy you don't have. I thank my father and late grandfather for that belief and work ethic. They have put more time and effort into their work than anyone I've ever met, and they have both been making sure that I do the same.

I don't know what all I'll be talking about on here, but it will probably vary greatly. Everything from racing to my school work to who knows. I might complain sometimes just to get it out. I might ramble on about whatever, pro or anti anything. I'll probably be posting my thoughts on just about anything I ever think about. Please feel free to contact me and yell back :)